my letter to 1D.

Hey boys, i know this won't make any sense but i just wanna share my story with you.it's not a big thing, i'm not raped & my mom is not dead but yeah, for me it's a big thing. i don't even know if u guys are going to read this but okay.

This guy, N, he made me and he broke me. i'm in love with him for 3.5 years now. i met him when i was 10 and now i'm nearly 16 (so Lou u can date me!!!!) we had alot fights caue he is really jealous and i can't handle that. he was always angry when i hang out with other guys, i wasn't even allowed to text boys in my class. but behind that jealous, angry douchebag was such a sweetheart who i loved with my whole heart. i have to tell you, i never minded when he went angry or jealous cause i thought that it meant he loves me. we texted all day but i barrely saw him. when i changed my display name in Eva(me)<3 Justin(Bieber) he was angry till i changed it in his name. you guys watch movies right? he was that perfect sweet guy which i loved soooo much, i actually couldn't live without him. everything was like a beautiful dream, especally when i celebrated my birthday march 4 2011. he kissed me. i was in heaven & my life was made. i hoped he would ask me if i wanted to be his girlfriend, cause i wanted that so badly. but then came that night.. may 16, 2011. we argued because of something stupid. a friend of his told me he was in love with a girl, who wasn't me. i was like 'what the..' so i asked him bout it. he went angry because i thought he liked me too. he said we could never date because i lived too far away (my parents are divorced, my dad lives 5 minutes away from him and my mom 30) after that night i had no reason to live anymore cause yeah, he was my reason. i have actually really bad friends cause they only cared about themselves. they still don't know how it was for me cause when i try to tell them they don't even listen. in that time i really needed someone who would put me throught but i had to do it myself. everytime i heard his name (a boy in my class has the same name) i ran out of class, crying. I can tell you so much more about how that time was but you wouldn't understand. a few months later he came back in my life. he told my friend that he wanted me to text him so i did. i was soooo happy cause i missed him sooooo much. we talked and stuff. after a while he started ignorging me and deleted me from Blackberry Messenger. i felt like a few months ago.. few months later he added me again. we had a few conversations later he started talking about the future, our future. i really wanna have a twin so he would give me one cause he really wanted to be my husband and the father of my kids. i hope u guys understand how happy i was. but when i checked his twitter a few days later, i realised that i wasn't as special i thought i was, he promised many more girls his love.. and than came a boyband called One Direction in my life. their voices, their smiles, their strenght, they helped me throught this time. they helped me cause they showed me it wasn't impossible to reach your dream. my story is a bit more longer than this but i don't wanna annoy you with it. the boy still comes in and out my life & still ruins everything but i have to accept it. i just wanna thank you for saving me. i don't think i would handle it without you. as second i wanna tell you that i miss you guys. you all have changed so much. i was there before Up All Night was released so i saw u changing.. what hurts me the most? Louis isn't as out going as he used to be. Lou, you barrely talk with an interview

hi.

dus besloten een blog bij te gaan houden, kijken hoelang ik dit vol ga houden. thanks Jenna for inspiring me. ik word niet goed van mezelf, ik heb spijt dat ik bij het kopen van concertkaarten heb gedrukt op 'nieuwe plaatsen' want je krijgt toch meteen de beste plaatsen die kunnen? ik word gek van die gedachten want ik moet blij zijn dat ik kaarten heb. ik ga mijn idolen zien. vooral moet ik blij zijn met mijn kaarten voor One Direction 3 mei, zoveel meiden konden niet gaan en ik zit nog op de vloer ook. naja vak A/B/C had leuk geweest maar je kan niet alles hebben, en niet te vergeten ik ga ze 2x zien dus ik moet positief blijven.